Songs

http://www.filefactory.com/file/dbacf5/n/Flaming_dart_-_La_LQ_mp3
Remix of La

http://www.filefactory.com/file/1f8327/n/Bloom_on_day_-_Phantom_of_the_opera_LQ_mp3
Cool trance phantom of the opera remix

Cosmo

Shadow-Cat> you guys should get the cosmo this month
Shadow-Cat> there is a whole section there
Shadow-Cat> where "men come clean on stuff"
WildW> cosmo... are there nakked ladies in it?
Shadow-Cat> yes plenty WildW
tam> i love the cosmo
Shadow-Cat> and instructions on how to use the "wings" on pads
Pagan> wtf would we want to know that?
Pagan> its not gonna make us fly
Pagan> and if we bleeding down there I think putting the wings correctly is the least of our problems

Swollen Bewbies

WildW> picky this morning arnt we?
Shadow-Cat> errr Pagan... ex? in the same bed as you?
Pagan> no, I mean the spawn of the devil I USED to share a bed with
Shadow-Cat> nope WildW worse... on my period :D
phoebe> bwahahahah Pagan
WildW> lmfao...
Pagan> seriously
*Shadow-Cat wishes WildW could feel what swollen boobs feel like...
Shadow-Cat>and to be bloated
Shadow-Cat>and moody
Shadow-Cat>and cranky
Shadow-Cat>and totally EMO
Pagan> u mean you dont come standard like that?
Pagan> hmmm
Pagan> how bout that
WildW> lmfao @ standard
WildW> ^5's Pagan
WildW> lol
Pagan> ^5
Pagan> :D
Shadow-Cat> no swollen tits are not a standard option on women k!
Pagan> it should be

Lana

livingdeadgirl> Winter, it's not virgin farts, I'm well skilled in that department, I'll have you know :P
Winter> who's lana, and why should she be hated?
livingdeadgirl> Winter, read lana backwards.
Winter> you take it up the bum livingdeadgirl?
livingdeadgirl> No :(
livingdeadgirl> That's gonna block my farts :(
RogerM> Winter lana read it backwards
Pagan> u never know, it might up them to a whole new level
Pagan> like a high performance exhaust system
Pagan> more flow = higher compression = more power
JenJen> rofl Pagan
Pagan> like BOOM!
livingdeadgirl> Pagan, can you imagine if I was busy with lana and I had to fart ???
JenJen> through flo?
livingdeadgirl> The guy will end up on the roof.
RogerM> blowout hehe

Handbags

Bob1971> Pagan's handbag is really gay
Pagan> hangbags are a pain in the ass
naughty_little_bunny> must be a gay thingy then
Pagan> I wish I had a vagina
Pagan> I'd use mine to store shit
Pagan> like keys and wallet and stuff
Bob1971> LOL

Durban talk

Zeus> wot kine now wit joo anol?
Nita> just reading and figuring out Zeus's way of typing is a challenge
Nita> :/
Zeus> nah....you tjoon mah stekkie kak
Zeus> Nita fuck you ekse
Pagan> ahahaha
Zeus> you want mah atchar....you taste mah atchar....you eat mah atchar
* Pagan hands Nita the official CityOfDurban(TM) decoder ring
Nita> ty Pagan huni
Pagan> u BUY my atchar
Zeus> bwaaahahahahaha

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

+++ ChanServ has given op to Cas
Dot> [Cas] ooooohhh dont look now, {} its just an {} Illusion
tweak>ooooh ooooooh I'm halaal pick meeeeeeeeeee
Pagan>I'm halaal tooooooooooo
Pagan>./nick JamaalBunny
Cas> lmao
Cas> Wat do u know abt jamaal?
Pagan>I knows your ways
Pagan>*wise nod + secret charou handshake and all
Pagan>I bring and come with two jamaal bunnies and a papsak
Pagan>we have us a romantic evening and all
Cas> lmao
Cas> hahaha
Cas> Dude u more ijin then i am lol
Pagan>yes
Pagan>hey, more indians in government.....thats what I say
Pagan>we'll still get naaied, but at least we'll get a better deal
Tonii>-.-
Cas> rofl
Pagan>lo Tonii stukkie
Pagan>wha kind ekse?
Tonii>Lol Mwah Pagan
Pagan>u know what though Cas
Pagan>I smaak that bollywood stuff
Pagan>u ever watch bollywood?
Cas> yeah i do
Pagan>yeah, bollywood rocks hey
Pagan>Tonii. if you ever have 3 1/2 hours spare
Pagan>you gotta watch that shit
Cas> hehe
Cas> Pagan u make me laugh
Pagan>nooit. seriously. I smaak bollywood
Tonii>Lol aint watched it
Pagan>except the ou cant just tune a stukkie "I smaak u stukkie"
Pagan>its gotta be like 40min of sing and dance and shit
Tonii>Lol
Pagan>and notice, the guys are all awesome singers, lekker voices an shit
Pagan>but the chicks
Pagan>omg
Pagan>like cats on crack
Pagan>but then again
Pagan>I suppose thats why bollywood porn never took off
Pagan>bit hard to sing the chorus with a cock in your mouth
Pagan>*shrug
Cas> omf
Pagan>tis true

Mr $$$

Fairynuff> I'm waiting for Mr. Rich
paperclip> cool when you get him - ask him if he has a brother
paperclip> actually if his father is alive would do to :P
Fairynuff> ok,...... it's a deal
* Pagan feels sad cause all these millions and damn my weak heart
AngelMouse> O.O
paperclip> Millions??? Weak heart
AngelMouse> Pagan: you're weird :)
Pagan> yes
Duke> he's virtually rich!
Duke> :D~
Pagan> and my e-penis is 18"
Pagan> pvt me girls
* AngelMouse chokes on the last bit of her coffee
* paperclip pvts Pagan quick
* AngelMouse wonders how much that is in centimeters
Pagan> 98cm
Pagan> *proud look
Duke> afstand beheer
Pagan> en die hele ding moet ingaan ne
AngelMouse> O.O
AngelMouse> wait ....
Fairynuff> :) ha ha ha
* AngelMouse is flustered and rather goes and makes herself more coffee
* Pagan rubs his ankle in a suggestive manner

Porn RUINED sex for me

Skygirl> 90210 wow that takes me back a few light years...
naughty_little_bunny> its like a plastic surgery thingy
ButterBean> 90210 is cheezy, come now!
Pagan> wow. that plastic surgery shit is scary
Pagan> I saw a ad the other day looking for ou's with 10" 's for a porn movie
Pagan> but there is no way I'm chopping off 2" just to be in a movie :/
ButterBean> lolololol!!!
naughty_little_bunny> LOLOLOL
* Skygirl leewks at Pagan's plastic sergery on MR Big
ButterBean> I'm sorry, but porn, esp. TV porn is so flippin funny!
Pagan> I was thinking about that last night
Pagan> etv porn is like late night soapies
ButterBean> All it is is ass and boobs.
Skygirl> what Pagan?
Pagan> kuk acting, kuk script, etc etc
ButterBean> ya ya!
Pagan> but at least its more realistic
naughty_little_bunny> i think porn makes sex cheap
Pagan> more naaiing, less talking :D
Pagan> thats my idea of a soapie
Pagan> 45 min naai + ad breaks
Pagan> actually
Pagan> watching porn ruined sex for me
ButterBean> lol my ass off at pagan!
ButterBean> no, really?
Pagan> I realised that woman dont actually scream "FUCK ME COWBOY!" when u touch their elbow
Pagan> what a disappointment
ButterBean> rofl!
Skygirl> lol
naughty_little_bunny> hahaha
ButterBean> I almost fell off my chair there!

Ass muscles

* randomchick grabs pagan and forces him ova her office desk
randomchick> *evil grin*... my turn
* Pagan clenches poephol
randomchick> lmao pagan
Pagan> dont mock it
Pagan> I do my bum excercises daily
Pagan> my ass muscles so toned that if I go to jail I'll rip any tottie off that comes near me
ZombiePriest> rofl
ZombiePriest> theres a plan

Gangsta's

SilverBlood> Paganina!
Pagan> howzit
SilverBlood> lekka
SilverBlood> jew?
Pagan> aight
SilverBlood> fo` sho`
Pagan> word
SilverBlood> bling
Pagan> lol, tandy gonna kick your ass
Pagan> I mean...*kof
SilverBlood> huh ?
SilverBlood> what is a "tandy" ???
Pagan> *translates
Pagan> that mad ho gonna pop one cap in yo ass
SilverBlood> roflmao
SilverBlood> bwhwahahahahaahahha
Tandy> Mad ho?
SilverBlood> rofl
SilverBlood> bwhaahahahahaha

Cloning

paperclip> Pagan can i clone you?
Pagan> yes
Pagan> I wanna clone me
Pagan> then have sex
naughty_little_bunny> sick!!
Pagan> just need to figure out if that would be at the forefront of masturbation techonology
Pagan> or incest
Pagan> not quite sure
Tasha_working> Lolol pagan
paperclip> Pagan not quite what i had in mind
Pagan> I know
Tasha_working> Lol
Pagan> you, me, me, me, me, me, and a crate of beer
Pagan> BUKAKA!
Tasha_workinxg> Jinne

Americans

@SilverBlood> woot: i am from South Africa.
+woot> really well how do you know what im saying
@SilverBlood> i have an American to english translator.
@SilverBlood> everything you say in American, it translates to english.
+woot> what seriously?
@SilverBlood> yeah

----later----

Triworks> Stooch us eto be a luchbar lover, then caremel and he do it both ways around he he
StoosH> wow
StoosH> spell much ?
StoosH> or is that portuguese for "i admire you" ?
Pagan> wait
Pagan> SilverBlood got a american to english translator
Pagan> maybe thats american
StoosH> could be
StoosH> sounds bushy

Punani

Bob1971> I think I need to get laid......................SOON!!!
Jellybean> that sounds so desperate
Bob1971> I'm married I am DESPERATE!!!
Jellybean> lmao
Jellybean> shame bob
Bob1971> Thing is on irc there are plenty of chicks that would shag me anytime
Bob1971> Go figure
Pagan> Yeah
Pagan> love is blind
Pagan> esp on IRC
Pagan> apparently
Jellybean> hahahaha
Bob1971> Ja true hey
Jellybean> either that or your reputation preceeds you hehe
Pagan> that too
Bob1971> I'm amazed at how many horny women are online JUSSES!!
Bob1971> <----------Innocent
Pagan> <-----looking the wrong places
Jellybean> lmao
Jellybean> poor bob and pagan hehe
Jellybean> you guys must be suffering terribly
Pagan> yeah
Bob1971> Dude I have the answer HOOKERS
Pagan> um. no. the question is HOOKERS. the answer is STD's
Jellybean> hahaha
Bob1971> Ja thats true but use 2 condoms
Pagan> nooit dude
Pagan> I seen some ho's I wouldnt touch with YOUR dick
Pagan> ewww
Jellybean> lol sis Pagan
Bob1971> True I feel the same
Bob1971> But I've seen some that were lets just say YUMMY!!!
Pagan> indeed
Pagan> unfortunately yummy=expensive though
Pagan> government should control that shit
Bob1971> True
Bob1971> I agree
Pagan> punani tax
Bob1971> I reckon married men should get a tax discount from visiting hookers
* Jellybean falls off her chair
Pagan> or housewives can claim it as a tax write off
Pagan> cause they'd probably class it as sin tax like smokes and booze
Bob1971> Ja true hey
Pagan> hmmm, interesting thought...
Pagan> could the ho's claim benefits and stuff
Pagan> or like claim wear and tear on their punani's
Pagan> or depreciation
Pagan> or something
Bob1971> Dunno hey,something like a resleeve benifit
Pagan> or insurance
Pagan> hmm
Jellybean> lolol
Bob1971> Hey could start a business
Bob1971> But would have to get it legalised
Pagan> ummm. not really
Bob1971> Illegal is best maybe
Pagan> yeah, cause if its all illegal like we dont have to pay them minimum wage
Jellybean> hahahaha
Bob1971> Hey minamum wage might be the way to go
Pagan> less than minimum
Pagan> eish, you can see I'm the durban ou
Pagan> 15 % markup
Pagan> 10 % discount
Pagan> there u go

Harassing the bots

Dot=Bot. Tweak=Bot. Raptor=Bot.
bananagirl> (bananagirl) oi
bananagirl> (Raptor) sorry...
bananagirl> (bananagirl) for?
bananagirl> (Raptor) hmmm... for is
bananagirl> (bananagir)> what??
bananagirl> (Raptor) i haven't a clue, bananagirl
bananagirl> (bananagirl) speak sense
bananagirl> (Raptor) excuse me?
bananagirl> (bananagirl) no no.. youre excused
bananagirl> (Raptor) sorry...
bananagirl> (bananagirl) again?
bananagirl> (Raptor) i think again is Nothin' up my sleeve. Presto!
bananagirl> (bananagirl) dont be sorry k
bananagirl> (Raptor) i'm not following you...
bananagirl> (bananagirl) um
bananagirl> (Raptor) huh?
bananagirl> (bananagirl) i know
bananagirl> (Raptor) what?
bananagirl> (bananagirl) dorl
bananagirl> (Raptor) sorry...
bananagirl> (bananagirl) dork
bananagirl> (Raptor) dork is a whale penis? you have to be kidding me.
bananagirl> (bananagirl) eish!!!!!!
bananagirl> (Raptor) what?

InnocentPagan> HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
InnocentPagan> lolololololol
Dot> blimey
bananagirl> ;/
tweak> Blimey se mase man
InnocentPagan> OMFG!
InnocentPagan> hahaha
Dot> I congratulate you in recognising my superiority and choosing me to be your love pig!
InnocentPagan> that the best laugh I had in a while
bananagirl> *bloish*

Barbie

Barbie> Hi! People
* metatron sets mode: +v Barbie
kittiek> barbie where is ken
* metatron is now known as ken
ken> Barbie can i come into your box?
Barbie> Sure
Vix> lmao hes ken
* Pagan is now known as ActionMan
ActionMan> for your info
ActionMan> barbie comes with action man
ActionMan> she FAKES it with ken

oops, wrong window

Jeff> I would love to really penetrate you and do the real deal to you
Aphrodite> Jeff who are u talking to?
Aphrodite> i hope not to me
Gorge> HAHAHAHA Jeff, wrong window?
Jeff> oops wrong site sorry cuzzins

Blowjobs

Doggoneugly> how does a guy know when he has a beeg dick , is when he can blow himself and still do a deep throat
Pagan> noooit dogg
Pagan> thats not cool dude
Doggoneugly> what Pagan?
Pagan> that whole blow-yourself thing
Pagan> I reckon the pleasing sensation of a mouth on your cock
Pagan> will be kinda ruined by the unpleasant sensation of a cock in your mouth

Q&A

----------------------------------------------------------

Q: my husband whines he never wears the pants anymore...
A: did you tell him you havent done the washing yet?

----------------------------------------------------------

Q: My husband wants a threesome with my best friend and me.
A: Obviously your husband cannot get enough of you! Knowing that there is only one of you he can only settle for the next best thing your best friend. Far from being an issue, this can only bring you closer together.

----------------------------------------------------------

Q: My husband doesn't know where my clitoris is.
A: Your clitoris is of no concern to your husband. If you must mess with it do it in your own time or ask your best friend to help. You may wish to videotape yourself while doing this, and present it to your husband as a birthday gift. To ease your selfish guilt, perform oral sex on him and cook him a delicious meal.

----------------------------------------------------------

Q: My husband continually asks me to perform oral sex on him.
A: Do it. Semen can help you lose weight and gives a great glow to your skin. Interestingly, men know this. His offer to allow you to perform oral sex on him is totally selfless. This shows he loves you. The best thing to do is to thank him by performing it twice a day: then cook him a nice meal.

----------------------------------------------------------

Random Funny Stuff

UberGremlin> there is no tablets for stupidity i tell you
UberGremlin> are*

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Pagan> i didnt set tahat
Pagan> *say
Pagan> *that
Pagan> *I
Pagan> *didn't

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blegh
the internet is bad
bad bad bad
I tried to talk to a woman
but she sent me nude pics instead
I didn't want them
but I took them out of courtesy

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"WARNING!! Your computer is currently broadcasting an IP address! With this IP address hackers can immediately begin attacking your computer! Click here to enlarge your penis!"

----------------------------------------------------------

Everyone, this is my bud, he's...ummm. how shall I put it.... a funny guy
not funny HAHA
funny GAY

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it was my girlfriends birthday, and i stayed at her place, and i put fudge in the toilet early in the morning, so when we woke up, i went to the toilet and she was getting ready to get in the shower
and when she looked at me, i reached into the toilet and grabbed a handful of what she thought was poop
and threw it at her
and screamed "HAPPY BIRTHDAY, BITCH!"

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when i want to remember shit, i write it on my arm
but the problem being, i wake up the next morning
with like, "30 foot tall cock" on my forearm and no context
i'm sure it was a great idea, but I'll never know for sure

----------------------------------------------------------

your penis is pretty gay
it can regularly be found in male anuses

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"The ejaculation of a dolphin carries so much force with it, that it could decapitate you."
This is why Dolphins are ALWAYS happy
They're just sitting there going "Yeah, bitches, I can decapitate you with my sperm"

----------------------------------------------------------

just found out my grandma watches porn, something is serious wrong in the world. armageddon is nigh :(

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Pagan> Name That Dinosaur: __________ ?
Pagan> 1st Hint: ****************** ********** Question Value : 5 Points
Pagan> 2nd Hint: Lan*a**ia**o*au*u* *a**ue**i* 15.0 secs & 1 Points Remaining
Pagan> Times up! The answer was -> Lancanjiangosaurus Cachuensis
Pagan> feebs

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no matter what anyone tells you, or how much you think it would be a good idea, never ever put aftershave on your balls
Like they say, curiousity killed that cat.
However I cant imagine what would drive a cat to put aftershave on its balls

----------------------------------------------------------

I just noticed that I have a worn out pattern in the shape of a hardon on my boxers :/

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let's not fight. Let's hug. For forty minutes. Nude.
10 more minutes till I start my lunch break. Go ahead and grease up.
----------------------------------------------------------

after some bad experiences with fat chicks I no longer ask their asl,now instead I ask for their BMI

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relationships are so easy thanks to the internet.. you can establish and destroy them at the touch of a few keys!
it all starts with 3 letters, asl
and ends with stfu

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wow. last night was so cool.I fell asleep watching tennis
all I heard was "uhnn oof uhnn oooooof uhnnn" from the two girls on tv
sounded alright ;)

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had the wierdest dream last night
a talking clitoris
a talking clit... that would scare the utter shit out of me
it would probably diss me
"goddamn, you're doing it all wrong"
"oh look at you, big stud, she looks bored as fuck"
"hey, i think you've forgotten about something........ME!"

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its so retarded when people r trying to type lots of !!!'s
theyre all like "yeah...im so cool!!1!~1`~!"
i mean, is it really that damned hard to type "!!!!1"

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i used to use zippers but my foreskin got stick in it
i went to velcro and had some pubic hair problems
now i just wear dresses

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its ironic how a flow of blood to the lower regions is only pleasureable to the man

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Wow, a subject *and* a verb. You are getting very close to composing complete sentances

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Why do dogs lick their dicks? cuz they can't make a fist

----------------------------------------------------------

How do you know when it's time to wash dishes and clean the house?
Look inside your pants; if you have a penis, it's not time.

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remember, as long as our balls don't touch it's not GAY

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I had to google "jfgi" to see what it meant. The irony is overwhelming.

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/me changed mode: +b fat.chicks@showing.stomache.in.tight.shirts

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i should go buy a skateboard and go sk00l some kids at gateway
since im an expert at all 3 tony hawk games, i should have no problem pulling off those tricks in real life

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god dammit. try as i might, i cannot type in the starwars theme music in words

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a seeing-eye dog was undressing me with its eyes, so I maced him
it got all frantic and ran its owner infront of a moving vehicle
was pretty funny

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I am so fucking h0nry today, I don't know what's wrong with me. It's like someone is licking the crotch of my voodoo doll.

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I have to say that watching porn ruined sex for me. I discovered that women don't scream, "Fuck me you big-cocked cowboy!" when you touch their elbow.

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They making a pagan action figure. turns out lots of people want a small plastic me to adorn a shelf
or a large inflatable me
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

although it saddens me to see a lady that i love, such as an adult film star, take a cum shot in the face

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What would you do if you had athletes foot, and your girlfriend had a foot fetish, and she got athletes vagina?

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People who cut themselves
honest to god
what is the point
"oh god i'm so depressed *cut* OOWWWWWW!!!! NOW I'M DEPRESSED AND IN PAIN!!!!!"

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Koult> Hey Lac'
Lac'> Sup dude?
Koult> You know I went to the cinema with Claire
Lac'> aye
Koult> She gave me a blowjob half way through
Lac'> really!?sweet!
Koult> No dude, not fucking sweet,
Lac'> ?
Koult> Just as I came I was looking up at the screen,
Koult> and Elijah Wood aka Frodo looked right into the camera
Koult> and now I've got his face burned into my memory, I feel I've just gotten head from a fucking Hobbit
Lac'> I'd type rofl ect but if I dont stop laughing I'll piss myself

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&tamtam> awwwwwwwwww noooooooo
&tamtam> i need the loo
&tamtam> and its a no. 2
&tamtam> hate doing those anywhere else but home
~Soviet_Babe> LMAO
~Soviet_Babe> so u gonna hold till home?
&tamtam> im trying
&tamtam> got a cold sweat already

Zooloo

Knarf> Zooloo
Pagan> zooloo
honey_b> zooloo
Pagan> tsk honey_b, you not allowed to say it
Knarf> lol
honey_b> what Pagan?
Pagan> we havent made you a honourary zooloo yet
Knarf> Nah shes cool
honey_b> cos i am
Pagan> naaaah
Pagan> doesnt matter
Pagan> we gotta do it officially
Pagan> I need 2 pics first though
Pagan> one normal
Pagan> one nudie
Pagan> mkay thanks
Knarf> she just needs to pass the initiation
honey_b> i have more zollos on my stoep than you :P
Wickedwoman> ja she has to do the whole bare breast thingy
Knarf> lol
Knarf> I like the way u think :-)
Pagan> still doesnt count honey_b
Pagan> Wickedwoman
Pagan> tell honey_b to give me umpf umpf please
honey_b> gmmmft Pagan
Wickedwoman> honey_b u cant be zooloo till u do the unf unf with Pagan
Pagan> gmmmmft is not a no
* honey_b will go back to Bloem
Pagan> so thats progress
Pagan> there we go then. thanks Wickedwoman
Pagan> besides, honey_b, think of how jealous you could make everyone
Knarf> lol
honey_b> hahaha
honey_b> dont i already? lololol
Pagan> you could make them more jealous
Pagan> change your nick to honey_bWotShaggedPagan
Pagan> and get away with it
honey_b> but Pagan everyone knows you a virgin, they will never believe me
Pagan> yes honey_b
Pagan> but look on the bright side
Pagan> <--STD free. need sex first
Wickedwoman> hehehehe
DRE_> Pagan u a virgin?
Pagan> I am, I am
Pagan> just not very good at it