Random Funny Stuff

UberGremlin> there is no tablets for stupidity i tell you
UberGremlin> are*

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Pagan> i didnt set tahat
Pagan> *say
Pagan> *that
Pagan> *I
Pagan> *didn't

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blegh
the internet is bad
bad bad bad
I tried to talk to a woman
but she sent me nude pics instead
I didn't want them
but I took them out of courtesy

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"WARNING!! Your computer is currently broadcasting an IP address! With this IP address hackers can immediately begin attacking your computer! Click here to enlarge your penis!"

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Everyone, this is my bud, he's...ummm. how shall I put it.... a funny guy
not funny HAHA
funny GAY

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it was my girlfriends birthday, and i stayed at her place, and i put fudge in the toilet early in the morning, so when we woke up, i went to the toilet and she was getting ready to get in the shower
and when she looked at me, i reached into the toilet and grabbed a handful of what she thought was poop
and threw it at her
and screamed "HAPPY BIRTHDAY, BITCH!"

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when i want to remember shit, i write it on my arm
but the problem being, i wake up the next morning
with like, "30 foot tall cock" on my forearm and no context
i'm sure it was a great idea, but I'll never know for sure

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your penis is pretty gay
it can regularly be found in male anuses

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"The ejaculation of a dolphin carries so much force with it, that it could decapitate you."
This is why Dolphins are ALWAYS happy
They're just sitting there going "Yeah, bitches, I can decapitate you with my sperm"

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just found out my grandma watches porn, something is serious wrong in the world. armageddon is nigh :(

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Pagan> Name That Dinosaur: __________ ?
Pagan> 1st Hint: ****************** ********** Question Value : 5 Points
Pagan> 2nd Hint: Lan*a**ia**o*au*u* *a**ue**i* 15.0 secs & 1 Points Remaining
Pagan> Times up! The answer was -> Lancanjiangosaurus Cachuensis
Pagan> feebs

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no matter what anyone tells you, or how much you think it would be a good idea, never ever put aftershave on your balls
Like they say, curiousity killed that cat.
However I cant imagine what would drive a cat to put aftershave on its balls

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I just noticed that I have a worn out pattern in the shape of a hardon on my boxers :/

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let's not fight. Let's hug. For forty minutes. Nude.
10 more minutes till I start my lunch break. Go ahead and grease up.
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after some bad experiences with fat chicks I no longer ask their asl,now instead I ask for their BMI

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relationships are so easy thanks to the internet.. you can establish and destroy them at the touch of a few keys!
it all starts with 3 letters, asl
and ends with stfu

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wow. last night was so cool.I fell asleep watching tennis
all I heard was "uhnn oof uhnn oooooof uhnnn" from the two girls on tv
sounded alright ;)

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had the wierdest dream last night
a talking clitoris
a talking clit... that would scare the utter shit out of me
it would probably diss me
"goddamn, you're doing it all wrong"
"oh look at you, big stud, she looks bored as fuck"
"hey, i think you've forgotten about something........ME!"

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its so retarded when people r trying to type lots of !!!'s
theyre all like "yeah...im so cool!!1!~1`~!"
i mean, is it really that damned hard to type "!!!!1"

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i used to use zippers but my foreskin got stick in it
i went to velcro and had some pubic hair problems
now i just wear dresses

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its ironic how a flow of blood to the lower regions is only pleasureable to the man

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Wow, a subject *and* a verb. You are getting very close to composing complete sentances

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Why do dogs lick their dicks? cuz they can't make a fist

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How do you know when it's time to wash dishes and clean the house?
Look inside your pants; if you have a penis, it's not time.

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remember, as long as our balls don't touch it's not GAY

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I had to google "jfgi" to see what it meant. The irony is overwhelming.

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/me changed mode: +b fat.chicks@showing.stomache.in.tight.shirts

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i should go buy a skateboard and go sk00l some kids at gateway
since im an expert at all 3 tony hawk games, i should have no problem pulling off those tricks in real life

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god dammit. try as i might, i cannot type in the starwars theme music in words

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a seeing-eye dog was undressing me with its eyes, so I maced him
it got all frantic and ran its owner infront of a moving vehicle
was pretty funny

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I am so fucking h0nry today, I don't know what's wrong with me. It's like someone is licking the crotch of my voodoo doll.

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I have to say that watching porn ruined sex for me. I discovered that women don't scream, "Fuck me you big-cocked cowboy!" when you touch their elbow.

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They making a pagan action figure. turns out lots of people want a small plastic me to adorn a shelf
or a large inflatable me
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although it saddens me to see a lady that i love, such as an adult film star, take a cum shot in the face

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What would you do if you had athletes foot, and your girlfriend had a foot fetish, and she got athletes vagina?

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People who cut themselves
honest to god
what is the point
"oh god i'm so depressed *cut* OOWWWWWW!!!! NOW I'M DEPRESSED AND IN PAIN!!!!!"

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Koult> Hey Lac'
Lac'> Sup dude?
Koult> You know I went to the cinema with Claire
Lac'> aye
Koult> She gave me a blowjob half way through
Lac'> really!?sweet!
Koult> No dude, not fucking sweet,
Lac'> ?
Koult> Just as I came I was looking up at the screen,
Koult> and Elijah Wood aka Frodo looked right into the camera
Koult> and now I've got his face burned into my memory, I feel I've just gotten head from a fucking Hobbit
Lac'> I'd type rofl ect but if I dont stop laughing I'll piss myself

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&tamtam> awwwwwwwwww noooooooo
&tamtam> i need the loo
&tamtam> and its a no. 2
&tamtam> hate doing those anywhere else but home
~Soviet_Babe> LMAO
~Soviet_Babe> so u gonna hold till home?
&tamtam> im trying
&tamtam> got a cold sweat already